I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
