Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
