Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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