you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
