Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize