Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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