Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
