I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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