tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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