After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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