Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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