I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
vagina is talking i cant
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
