i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
