I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
