i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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