Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The adults are the big ones right?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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