the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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