i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
zippers are such a cool invention
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
