So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
