I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
