Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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