Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
