Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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