you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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