He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize