based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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