you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
