hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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