I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize