So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize