too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
