i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?