Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
