Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.