I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize