I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
