Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (1043) Bad night (3129)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.

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  (715): just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever. http://tfl.nu/r25i
  Replies (23) Good night (1037) Bad night (6975)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.

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  (616): I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes. http://tfl.nu/slsk
  Replies (23) Good night (5077) Bad night (1375)
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  (714): View more from California

  IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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  (714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX http://tfl.nu/wmyf
  Replies (12) Good night (2354) Bad night (1258)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.

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  (978): the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase. http://tfl.nu/thr7
  Replies (11) Good night (1152) Bad night (2026)
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  (714): View more from California

  Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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  (714): Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume. http://tfl.nu/yo6q
  Replies (16) Good night (715) Bad night (2930)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me

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  (516): I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me http://tfl.nu/lsz4
  Replies (16) Good night (2984) Bad night (625)
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  (408): View more from California

  Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.

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  (408): Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday. http://tfl.nu/vfie
  Replies (2) Good night (1019) Bad night (552)
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  (619): View more from California

  No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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  (619): No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist http://tfl.nu/96uk
  Replies (7) Good night (1312) Bad night (489)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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  (303): I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper http://tfl.nu/1zv1
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (593)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first

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  (613): I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first http://tfl.nu/99uo
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (372)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

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  (315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (295)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

  (206): View more from Washington

  I should have never moved out...

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  (773): The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese. (206): I should have never moved out... http://tfl.nu/kyqk
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (512)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?

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  (804): What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date? http://tfl.nu/5g3w
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (619)
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  (265): View more from

  I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.

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  (265): I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit. http://tfl.nu/kzhy
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (235)

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