Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?

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  (586): Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right? http://tfl.nu/c996
  Replies (20) Good night (2447) Bad night (1260)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  How much beer did you get for it?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied

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  (440): Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds (1-440): How much beer did you get for it? (440): One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied http://tfl.nu/6auu
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (1781)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  this beer tastes like vomit already

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  (352): this beer tastes like vomit already http://tfl.nu/3gdg
  Replies (11) Good night (678) Bad night (3338)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.

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  (904): i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/j0mi
  Replies (13) Good night (6343) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (6321) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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  (770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1068) Bad night (2761)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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  (907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv
  Replies (30) Good night (1248) Bad night (7028)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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  (218): We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/2b3c
  Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (801)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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  (902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao
  Replies (36) Good night (694) Bad night (6650)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie

  (347): View more from New York

  It's not

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  (646): This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie (347): It's not http://tfl.nu/v5wf
  Replies (4) Good night (2228) Bad night (769)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1698) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

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  (412): He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent. http://tfl.nu/lgq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1498) Bad night (506)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf

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  (775): Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf http://tfl.nu/s6jl
  Replies (6) Good night (433) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars

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  (206): Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars http://tfl.nu/0i0u
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (399)

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