Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
