I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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