Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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