oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize