Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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