Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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