I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
