Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
pray to the hookup gods
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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