did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
