Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize