Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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