Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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