You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
