well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
