Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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