Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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