but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
