Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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