My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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