i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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