And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
