The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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