Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
