please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok