I seem to have left my pride at pride
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!