Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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