Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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