Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
