Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
